Now what?

These first few days of January have been stress inducing, what with the storming of the United States Capital and all. People believing anything they see or hear. It’s mind boggling how many idiots there really are in the world. And it is so embarrassing. Kinda hard to feel like an international traveling actress/fantasy woman full of mystique when you are from the US right now. Plus, you can’t travel because of stupid dumb Covid.

So I am just gonna work on what I can control right now. And it might be taking the feed bag off and exercising my gut away. Something strange happens when you stop exercising, start drinking and eating whatever you want, get cancer and have surgery, lay around some more, have teenagers, and just generally feel as if you got off the express train and onto a back road stuck behind a tractor that broke down. No wait, I’M the tractor! Geez this is a good analogy. I don’t want to be farm equipment. I prefer to be a purple Porsche 911 with leopard print interior.

As it stands, I’m more of a 1989 mid sized sedan that needs detail work and an oil change.

I’ve decided I want to look good in exercise clothes and a bikini again. Why? Well, cause I’d feel more like myself. I was skinny all of my life until this middle age shit show.

Plus, now that I am back into acting (was a Pilates instructor for 15 yrs) I have decided I am willing to sign the nudity contract for any upcoming union, well written, scripts that I get offered.

I never wanted to do nudity before, but middle age and having anyone and everyone seeing my tits during the breast cancer thing got rid of any fucks I had about modesty. I used to look good nekkid. Nobody but my husband knew that. Now, I weigh 25 pounds more and have scars across my fake titty implants that move when I flex my pecs. SEXY.

Narrator: But there would never be a script offered to Ashley. Because no one wants to see a middle aged woman take of her clothes.

So really, it’s just a challenge to see what I can do with what I have now. Let’s see if this four door sedan can at least get a new paint job and some of that new car smell again.