A blog about finding the color and humor in anything and everything.

Well, this year sucked. Crap, even the whole decade has had a lot of shitstorms. I know most everyone has had a crappy year, unless you are a gajillionaire. Then you probably made more gajillions and bought an island and an airplane.

I don’t really want to focus on the negative, but I do like to review and reflect.

Back in 2010, my dad decided he didn’t want to be alive anymore so he took himself out to the smokehouse and done kilt hisself. That was bad. I know I might sound flippant and removed from such a tragic thing, but honey, that’s how I deal. The bigger the tragedy the more opportunity for comedy and inappropriate coping mechanisms. I’m sure as I keep blogging I will touch on what the hell led up to my dad’s unfortunate demise. But I don’t feel like it right now.

In 2011 my husband and I had been running a holistic health and fitness studio for 11 years. I taught Pilates and Gyrotonic (I’ll explain what that is eventually). We moved to a bigger space and took on a business partner (insert long shitstorm story here) and by 2014 we were forced into bankruptcy to get out of our association with the evil humans who betrayed and stole almost everything from us. I had to ask friends for grocery money. That totally sucked because my husband and I had a very successful business for 15 years that we were so proud of, but we trusted the wrong people, were naive, and learned painful lessons. I freaked out and stopped working so I could twitch and figure out my life.

I began to slowly emerge back into my creative self. Back to acting. (I had put it aside to help with the business and to focus on our two little kids and cute cottage) I tried to convince myself I didn’t miss it, but I did. I really missed my creative life.

I should insert here that in 2013 I started to homeschool my two kids. My daughter went back to public school after a couple of years, my son has gone back and forth from homeschool to public school. I despise our industrialized school system. I applaud caring teachers. But raising kids and trying to be loving and a good hippy mom who listens to your kids is hard. And wonderful. But mostly it reminds me to stay on my nervous pills.

In 2018 I got breast cancer and had to have a double mastectomy with reconstruction. That really sucked. I felt like I was finally shaking off all the crap that had happened earlier in the decade. That really pissed me off and got me depressed. But the good news is that it didn’t kill me and I’ve got more material to work with…

That brings us to 2020 where I watched my mother in law (husband is an only child) die a painful death from stomach cancer. Then two weeks later, a dear friend (and relative by marriage), dropped dead. Then of course, Covid-19. So, the last decade has has so much sadness and disappointment. But you know what? I’m okay. I have really learned to deal with the shitstorm and turn it into fertilizer.

I hope to bring some joy and color into the world. and to not screw up my kids too badly. I hope you will join me on my journey.

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